This is my first blog post of the year 2010.
Sorry for being away for so long. I was busy settling myself down in university after a month of holiday. At the same time, I was also busy with other activities as well.
At the beginning of new semester, the first month, I always spent the most paying up semester fees and books. Besides paying up 1K fees and another few hundred for books, as for this first month of this year, I went down to KL two consecutive weekends and also went for drinks more frequently than usual. It surely burnt a big hole in my pocket.
I headed off with a bad start for year 2010. I guess the worst start I ever had for any years of my life. The two trips to KL for formal events really made me wonder about my future.
I always remember this date, 23rd January 2010.
That was the day I suffered such humiliation where I don’t even know how I going to face myself and others
That was the day I don’t wish to be a human being
That was the day my confidence was crushed into tiny bits
Please don’t tell me to take failure as a learning experience. I’m not proud of myself and please don’t proud of me. I know why some people hate failure. It’s not that I cannot accept failure, but it’s how people perceive your failure. I took the biggest gamble of my life – my ego. In return, I was slapped with the biggest humiliation of my life. My entire ego is gone and I don’t even know how I going to face my team. You’re once being one of the respected one but now because of the gamble, you’re being one of the ashamed one. As a leader, with whole national plenary witnessing the downfall, I am really out of sorts to continue leading my team and to be in the national team. Cuts caused by objects will only hurt you physically. Cuts caused by words will not only hurt you physically, but also mentally. I don’t blame anyone for this failure but my stupidity to take the gamble without taking the consideration of my own abilities.
It’s not the hardest thing to accept the fact that you lost in the fight. It’s the hardest thing to bounce back from the fight that you lost and start believing yourself again.
I guess I will think some time to consume all these and start to build myself back again. Now it feels like going back to my first time stepping into university life minus ‘some things’ that I once passionate about. Studies, I’m back to you again.
I just learn a very important lesson.
*Either you have very good and outstanding achievements that everyone can see backing you up or have a extreme good skills in impressing people in a few hours, if not, don’t ever try to gamble anything because even though you have a very detailed preparation, people won’t bother*
Sorry for being away for so long. I was busy settling myself down in university after a month of holiday. At the same time, I was also busy with other activities as well.
At the beginning of new semester, the first month, I always spent the most paying up semester fees and books. Besides paying up 1K fees and another few hundred for books, as for this first month of this year, I went down to KL two consecutive weekends and also went for drinks more frequently than usual. It surely burnt a big hole in my pocket.
I headed off with a bad start for year 2010. I guess the worst start I ever had for any years of my life. The two trips to KL for formal events really made me wonder about my future.
I always remember this date, 23rd January 2010.
That was the day I suffered such humiliation where I don’t even know how I going to face myself and others
That was the day I don’t wish to be a human being
That was the day my confidence was crushed into tiny bits
Please don’t tell me to take failure as a learning experience. I’m not proud of myself and please don’t proud of me. I know why some people hate failure. It’s not that I cannot accept failure, but it’s how people perceive your failure. I took the biggest gamble of my life – my ego. In return, I was slapped with the biggest humiliation of my life. My entire ego is gone and I don’t even know how I going to face my team. You’re once being one of the respected one but now because of the gamble, you’re being one of the ashamed one. As a leader, with whole national plenary witnessing the downfall, I am really out of sorts to continue leading my team and to be in the national team. Cuts caused by objects will only hurt you physically. Cuts caused by words will not only hurt you physically, but also mentally. I don’t blame anyone for this failure but my stupidity to take the gamble without taking the consideration of my own abilities.
It’s not the hardest thing to accept the fact that you lost in the fight. It’s the hardest thing to bounce back from the fight that you lost and start believing yourself again.
I guess I will think some time to consume all these and start to build myself back again. Now it feels like going back to my first time stepping into university life minus ‘some things’ that I once passionate about. Studies, I’m back to you again.
I just learn a very important lesson.
*Either you have very good and outstanding achievements that everyone can see backing you up or have a extreme good skills in impressing people in a few hours, if not, don’t ever try to gamble anything because even though you have a very detailed preparation, people won’t bother*
I admit I am sucked in both. I'm no longer fit to give anyone any advice due to my status I'm having now. I shall lead my life as a typical undergraduate.
1 comment:
your blog ber-kulat ady lo...>.<
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